Cam Newton is a character.
Everything about him, from his clothes to his words and actions, plays a strategic part in establishing and advancing his personal brand.
On the surface, he appears to be the quintessential new age dandy man with an appetite for women and a penchant for ugly truth-telling. However, his persona is far more strategic than it seems.
Per his status and history, I don’t think it’s a stretch to point out his narcissism. As such, I theorize that he is a man who has learned that perceived vulnerability lowers people’s defenses, which leads to acceptance. For instance, by admitting to having a supposed severe phobia of marriage and commitment, he is basically asserting that women who deal with him should never expect real effort or true commitment.
Moreover, when it comes to the court of public opinion, he uses this method as a way to reset the power dynamic when his image slips. In other words, it’s the emotional version of rebranding: he peppers in moments of performed softness to protect continued access to women and sympathy without ever confronting his own misogyny.
This became more evident after watching this discussion:
Overall, you’ll notice that when he’s actually held accountable, he uses his “fears” and shortcomings as excuses. Let’s get into it.
The “Emotionally Evolved” Facade
Cam’s podcast moments, where he appears reflective, discussing “what a real man should do” or “where he went wrong, appears reflective, discussing “what a real man should do” or “where he went wrong” may sound mature on the surface. But the tone always circles back to image management over actual growth.
Treating “vulnerability” like a flex: a display of self-awareness that costs him nothing and changes nothing. He’s not saying “I hurt women and I’m sorry.” He’s saying, “I’m in an elevated position in society, so the rules don’t apply to me.”
Indeed, this is how he deflects to how many options he has when being held accountable for creating broken homes. Indeed, a responsible man would at least acknowledge his faults and his efforts to go beyond them, but in Cam’s case, his response was basically, “I’m rich, and that means more women pursue me.”
And fair enough; he’s not wrong. But as the saying goes: “with great power comes great responsibility.” The part that men like Cam are missing is that bad decisions can ruin your life and the lives of others. In the same way that the wrong marriage can leave you financially depleted, so can having children with the wrong woman or women. And in his position, he’s infinitely more likely to get targeted by women who have dollar signs in their eyes instead of beating hearts.
Access vs. Actual Affection
Given his worldview, Cam doesn’t value women as people; he values what they represent. He enjoys unlimited access to the warmth, beauty, submission, and emotional labor of womanhood without the reciprocity that makes it real love.
His attraction seems filtered through utility and optics rather than pursuing a real connection with a woman who can be an example to his children. He likely enters every entanglement with three questions in mind: Does she look good on my arm? Will she “submit”? Does she make me feel powerful again?
When the illusion breaks, vulnerability becomes his alibi. No matter how rich or charming he may be, he views women as interchangeable and thus disposable. No woman is special enough for him to change, nor are the children motivated to pursue more stability in his personal life.
When men like Cam “open up,” they do so with a safety net. They’ll admit to being “imperfect” or “hard to love,” but never in ways that require accountability. In other words, if you want my heart, you will have to take abuse and put up with my f*ckery in order to access it. And given that he has already sworn off true commitment, the quest to win his heart is inevitably futile. To add insult to injury, when the women end up hurt, he will simply remind them that he disclosed his stance on commitment from the beginning and move on to the next.
It’s the epitome of calculated vulnerability.
Moreover, when the reality of the trail of broken families, homes, and hearts he’s leaving in his path starts to come to the surface, he uses calculated vulnerability to empower himself to reset after every controversy or relationship failure.
Additionally, since women, and especially Black women, are socialized to reward confession with forgiveness, by crying, reminiscing, or sounding emotionally lost, he reclaims access to empathy without earning it. The women, once again, line up for a chance to win his heart, and the pain train keeps on rolling.
It’s manipulative softness: “See, I can be vulnerable; you just have to earn it.”
The Myth of the Evolved Alpha
Newton is in a new class of men who have learned to merge the old-school alpha with the new-age sensitive man: a hybrid persona that protects his dominance under the guise of enlightenment.
He calls for “real women” to be traditional but positions himself as the visionary who understands modern love. But as we’ve learned, love doesn’t live there at all. Cam has sworn off monogamy in the same way he skirts responsibility, so he’s basically setting his women up for a losing battle from the very beginning.
That’s not evolution…it’s a loophole. The mask changes; the misogyny stays.
Newton doesn’t use vulnerability to connect; He uses it to reset the scoreboard.
For men like him, emotional honesty is a PR stunt, or a means of keeping access to women’s softness while refusing to be shaped by it. He doesn’t want a partnership; he wants permission to keep doing harm without losing admiration.
This is dangerous when speaking to a community that already has so much dysfunction and emotional wounds regarding the nuclear family. To be clear, I’m not necessarily against plural lifestyles, but I’m a firm believer that it’s not what you do, but how you do it. And if you’re not going to be open and honest about your intentions, you’re headed in the wrong direction either way.
This post originally appeared on Medium and is edited and republished with author's permission.