Q Parker Wants to Help Men Rebuild their Romance Muscle

Hint: It begins by letting go of your tough-guy mentality.

Q Parker believes romance is lacking among men.

The longtime member of 112, known for classic love ballads such as “Cupid,” has a fix. He describes his second solo album, Evolution of Romance, as a tutorial for those in dire need of a love doctor. 

“Just let the album play,” Q instructs, while belting lyrics from his new single, “Keep On Lovin’” during a photoshoot in a New Jersey studio.

As they say, the mic is on.

Married for 23 years, Parker’s insights are grounded in experience. He shares lengthy anecdotes about nurturing healthy relationships, often using sports analogies. For instance, he explains how cornerbacks who get burned on a 96-yard play must quickly forget the mistake to stay present for the next snap. He connects this idea to matrimony.

“That’s a great mindset to bring into marriages,” says Q. “If I'm upset with you or we’re having some difficulties, we are doing life together. And so Tuesday is still Tuesday regardless of what happened on Monday. But if I'm living Tuesday based off of something that happened three Tuesdays ago, how fair is that to the relationship?”

Dressed in chocolate-brown, wide-bottomed slacks, a slender cream turtleneck, and a dazzling cow-print jacket, Parker sits down with LEVEL to share his wisdom on connecting with women, understanding the essence of loyalty, and prioritizing health.

The last piece of romance advice I gave to my son was to allow the love to be developed. Don’t rush it. Love can only be developed over time. It’s like the process of childbirth. There's a reason why it's 9 months long because everything has to develop. You don't just become pregnant and then tomorrow a baby shows up. It has to go through its necessary process, and I think love is like that as well.

Stage fright goes away just through reps. I have a motto that I live by regimen plus consistency equals results. If I establish a regimen and I do that consistently, results are going to happen. 

I love the way my voice sounds. There was a time where I wasn't the most comfortable with my natural voice. When you are in a group that is just so equally talented as 112, everybody has a role to play. And so we identified our roles and my role was always very calm, smooth, subtle, silky. So I would maybe do the first verse, come in with the second verse, and then the other guys would do the other things. There were so many other parts [of my voice] that I never had to spend time with because that wasn't my role. I didn't have to hit the big note. I didn't have to take 'em home at the bridge. My role was to set the table. But when I decided to do my solo journey in 2012, I realized that I couldn't pass it to anybody.

The perfect love song, hands down, Is Babyface’s “Soon as I Get Home from Work.” It embodies how he wants to show up for his woman: I pay your rent, I buy your clothes, I’ll cook your dinner.

...regardless of what the bystanders angle towards [Puffy] is, mine will always be different because he actually impacted my life. I'm sitting here because he invested in me, so he changed my life.

Men are depicted as having to be hard and tough and strong — all those things. But I think we are our best selves when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, sensitive, and soft. We were told, if you fall and skin your knee, don't cry. Only little girls cry. All of these things we were taught [when we were] children still plagues us into our adult life. It's the farthest from the truth.

Charm, charisma, and swag can be taught. When you think about 112 that the world saw in 1996, that was not who we were before the record deal. We came from the church and so that’s all we knew. Even if you look at some of the early videos, we don't really know how to dance. We’re just doing church moves. Go look at the “Only You” video. We would huddle up and say, no matter what happens, just be confident. Because the one thing we hated was when it was time to do the solo performances. We'd be like, please don't call me first. 

The last time I spoke to Puffy was the day before he was arrested. He was arrested on a Friday, and I just so happened to be in New York that Thursday doing radio promo for my first single. I called him and I'm like, yo, I'm in the city. I want to come see you. He sent me the address and I actually played for Puffy this Evolution of Romance album. I played him three records and of the three records, he was like, yo, that's Q Parker all day. Puffy and I always had this brother-like relationship. We always stayed in contact. And so it was no way I was going to release music without sending it to him, getting his wishes on it or his critique. I'm just really grateful that I had that moment with my brother the day before he was arrested.

The enemy gets us through isolation. And when you are isolated, the thoughts of nobody cares, oh, I'm on an island by myself [creep in]. That's a bad place for a black man to be in. My philosophy is regardless of the act, how egregious or light or whatever the accusation, no one deserves to go through certain things by themselves. It doesn't mean I condone what you did, but as your brother, I'm not going to let you go through this journey by yourself, especially when you mean something to me. And regardless of what the bystanders angle towards [Puffy] is, mine will always be different because he actually impacted my life. I'm sitting here because he invested in me, so he changed my life. I personally can't just be on some F him, send him to the dungeon and slam the door locked and throw away the key. Somebody else may say that, but I can't because he changed my life and means a lot to me,

The key to a healthy marriage is yesterday is yesterday. We got to commit to this thing daily. Even if I'm upset with you or we are having some difficulties, we are doing life together. And so Tuesday is still Tuesday regardless of what happened on Monday or Sunday. But if I'm living on Tuesday based off something that happened three Tuesdays ago, how fair is that to the relationship?

My physical health is everything to me. That's one thing that's non-negotiable. A mentor of mine said that when you're born, you look like your parents. When you die, you look like your choices. I want to make good choices that's going to have me around for a while. As a black man, we are born behind the eight ball — hypertension, high blood pressure, diabetes. And so I don't want to do anything that's going to accelerate what was already there as opposed to I want to do things that can counter what my ancestors gave me. I want to see my grandchildren in their forties.