Do you remember what you were like before you first had sex?
Before porn and masturbating?
Before you’d ventured out into the world of sexuality?
Most people remember vague details. For me, I remember vividly what I was like. I was reserved, especially around girls. I’d talk to them but had no idea when one liked me.
I knew nothing about females, let alone how to get one to agree to go to bed with me. This was during my high school days.
Fast forward to college, and I lost my virginity. I was a late bloomer who eventually learned how to court women. And I was proud of it.
I see so much focus on sex from guys. It honestly bothers me, so much so I wrote a separate piece about it.
Sex is amazing, but I wonder how many of my male counterparts actively take breaks from it intentionally. How many guys can turn to their partner and tell them they want to fast sex for a little while?
It’s important.
Here’s why.
Take Ted as an example. He’s been around the block sexually and knows a thing or two about pleasuring women.
He’s currently in an intimate relationship that’s going on a year. The first six months were spent getting to know his girlfriend and making sure she felt safe with him.
Since then, they’ve had many romps in the sack. Sex happens four times a week.
Ted loves his girlfriend, but knows sex is starting to become a little trite. Rather than do anything about it, he continues to engage under the belief that some sex is better than no sex.
In other words, he’s doing nothing to change how monotonous it’s become.
Ted is in the danger zone. He knows sex with his girlfriend has become unenjoyable, yet he continues to participate. It’s here that infidelity usually rears its ugly head — because you still want to have sex, you just don’t want to be bored in the process.
What’s missing is the novelty, or newness. In other words, they lack a fresh perspective. That’s what lands most guys, or cheaters, in trouble.
That’s why it’s so important to fast sexually.
When you fast from food, you’re teaching your body how to be disciplined without it. The more you do it, the more disciplined you become. All of a sudden, going 24–36 hours without a meal doesn’t sound so bad.
Besides, you get the added benefits of weight loss, reduced inflammation, and enhanced mental clarity.
Look at preworkout for workouts as another example. The first week of using it, you feel the effects profoundly. After that, it feels like it stops working.
Smart gym-goers know they need to cycle their preworkout use in order to feel its effects. They use it for a week, then take a week off. Rinse, repeat.
Alcohol and marijuana fall into this category too. Detoxing from either or decreases your tolerance. The longer you detox, the more you’ll feel the effects when using them.
Yet, when it comes to sex, people don’t want to take breaks.
I look at sex as one of the world’s most powerful drugs.
The only high more powerful comes from heroine. Put another way — the only high people crave more than sex is heroine. Think about that.
That’s why sexual fasting is so important. It also has a wide range of benefits, like improved mood, increased confidence, and greater interest in sexual activity. It’s even helped guys who struggle with erectile dysfunction.
Terry Crews is a household name. The comedic actor has starred in hit films such as Idiocracy and sitcoms like Everybody Hates Chris and Brooklyn Nine Nine, as well hosting America’s Got Talent.
Crews recently opened up about his struggle with pornography in his marriage. It was a skeleton in his closet he kept from his wife. When he eventually opened up about it to her, she wasn’t pleased.
The result? They went on a 90-day sex fast together.
That made things all about love again, not sex. Crews says it took him back to when he was 12 years old and liked a girl. Sex wasn’t a part of the equation then, so to show her he liked her, he gave her a flower. It was innocent and pure.
He had his reservations about the fast initially but later called it the best thing they’d ever done.
If I had to guess, I’d say most people would call me extreme for suggesting sexual fasting.
I get it. Once upon a time, I was the same way. Sex was something I’d hold on to tight because of how amazing it made me feel…until it didn’t.
Once I experienced boredom with sex and my partner, I knew I needed to take action.
“Do I break up with her?” was my first thought. If she can’t fulfill my sexual needs, then what’s the point?
After candid conversations, we decided to stop having sex altogether — for a little while (30 days). When we got back in bed, we felt refreshed with renewed vigor for each other.
That’s the whole why behind the what — you too can feel like things are brand new with your partner if you’re willing to take time away from sex through fasting.
Give it a try, even if you’re skeptical. I guarantee you’ll walk away pleasantly surprised.