In case you missed it, Brandy just released her memoir, Phases, and it’s causing a stir. Specifically, she spoke of her relationship with Boyz II Men frontman Wanya Morris when she was just 16, and he was 22.

Disclosing that she lost her virginity to him, Brandy revealed that time and experience have made her realize that she was preyed upon and a mere conquest to Morris.

This has somehow turned into a polarizing debate rather than a moment of liberation and vindication for a woman who has suffered in silence for decades.

One reason it likely took so long for Brandy to come forward is that she knew the Black community would not be on her side. The well-being of a rich man will always take precedent over that of a Black/brown woman or girl. Full stop.

From a feminist power-theory lens, the Brandy situation is not just about age in the abstract, but about how patriarchy trains us to normalize unequal dynamics when the male party holds more power, experience, and social freedom.

If Brandy was 16 and he was 22, then this was never a neutral romance between peers; it was a dynamic shaped by adulthood on one side and adolescent vulnerability on the other.

Moreover, the fact that she described herself as an “obsessed fan” makes the imbalance even sharper, because fandom already creates a hierarchy of access, admiration, and perceived importance. In that kind of arrangement, her youth and devotion do not make the connection more romantic. But they make her easier to impress and influence.

This situation has exposed yet another inconvenient truth deeply ingrained in the Black community: when a powerful older man is involved with a teenage girl who idolizes him, the issue is not just attraction, but the way male status and female socialization combine to make exploitation look like desire.

The fact that Brandy has come forward with something so sensitive and is being judged for not being the perfect victim is telling. Yes, Brandy grew up in the spotlight and had her own empire before she graduated high school. And yes, she did have a brand that prioritized family values and remaining pure until marriage, among other things.

Nevertheless, this does not make her any less impressionable and starry-eyed than any other teenage girl who finally got a chance to breathe the same air as her insanely rich and famous crush. And it certainly doesn’t give her the ability to consent to a sexual relationship as a teenager dealing with a man in his 20s.

Fast Tail Girls

Instead of holding Wanya accountable, the community, as a whole, has decided to put teenage Brandy on trial, calling into question the extent of her parents' knowledge of the relationship, whether she was actually a virgin, her millionaire status, industry rumors, and more.

Now, where have we seen this before? Ah, that’s right, virtually every time a young woman has complained about statutory rape in the Black community. As a brown girl, if you are old enough to know what sex is, and sometimes, even if you aren’t, it is assumed that you were mature enough to consent.

So, even when the most predatory men target you, it’s written off as him just being a man, and her being some fast Jezebel that knew better than to deal with an older man, but chose to anyway.

And therein lies the problem.

If you’ve ever called a young girl who was victimized by an older man fast, you are upholding misogynoir in the worst way. Creating narratives where grown men are somehow victims of young girls and their sexual trickery is one of the most problematic ideologies we’ve ever upheld.

Yet and still, as a community, we regularly put victims on trial, while finding every excuse to defend the predators. See: R. Kelly. And in this instance, I think the R. Kelly debacle is especially relevant. Til this day, the main arguments behind the “Free R. Kelly” movement are that the young girls were fans willing to do anything, and their parents knew they were with him, so it’s everyone’s fault but his.

This is the same line of thinking being applied to Brandy’s situation. She was 16 and dating the lead singer of one of the most successful R&B groups of all time. Surely, she was in it to advance her career, and if so, being assaulted was just part of the deal.

And I can’t lie, at this point, going against this kind of illogical thinking is getting draining. Kids preyed on by adults are always victims.

Even if the child seems willing or eager, it’s up to the adults in the room to remind her that such deeds are inappropriate and send her back to the kiddie table, not take advantage of her, and not blame her for participating later.

Brandy Is a Victim

The Black community has had a love/hate relationship with Brandy throughout her career. And it’s partially because she was an insanely talented rich kid who came from a two-parent household, and proudly spoke about saving herself for marriage. God forbid!

Unfortunately, that perception is still influencing the community, which is having a field day because they have been trying to taint her “good girl” image from the beginning.

Instead of saying, “Oh, no! She was taken advantage of by the grown man?! That’s horrible!" They are now making snide remarks like, “Uh-huh. I knew she wasn’t no virgin. And she lied about being married to her child’s father, too!”

Can you blame her? There are millions of grown adults looking to humble her and mock her good girl persona, all because they feel she is uppity for having standards and doing her best to maintain the integrity of her brand.

They are still acting like they were somehow personally betrayed by the fact that she used a publicity stunt to make it appear as though she was married to the father of her daughter, rather than admitting that she had premarital sex and conceived a baby as a result.

At the same time, when it comes to holding the likes of Wanya accountable, we’re told that this is old, that she’s doing it for attention, that he was just a man doing what men do, and that she got exactly what she was looking for. It’s upsetting.

Rich and famous or not, Brandy did what most young girls would have when they were being groomed and coerced into sex with an older man whom they idolized. But rather than shining a light on how often powerful men use their money and fame to prey on young, impressionable fans, this is being spun into a situation where Wanya is a victim of a teenage social climber who came back to finish the job in adulthood.

That is preposterous.

Brandy was a young girl with a vibrant, youthful brand, proud to be a virgin. She certainly did not have the fast tail girl persona, nor did she promote such things to her audience. She also did not present herself in a way that was considered to be overtly sexual or promiscuous in any way.

At the same time, she’s still human and subject to the psychological manipulation all young girls are. And just because she wasn’t experienced enough to see through it doesn’t mean she’s not still a victim of a predatory man who saw her as a conquest and told her whatever she wanted to hear.

Although people are questioning why she finally decided to come forward, that doesn't matter. Being manipulated and preyed upon at such an early age by someone whom she idolized is the type of psychological trauma that lingers.

So, if publicly naming her abuser and his misdeeds is her first step to true healing, it should be supported.

Brandy and Wanya released a beautiful song called “Brokenhearted” somewhere around the time they were dating.

It begins with, “I’m young, but I’m wise enough to know that you don’t fall in love overnight. That’s why I thought if I took my time, that everything in love would be right.”

Now, we can’t say that Brandy fully understood what she was singing about, but Wanya did, and so did the label and everyone else around her. In retrospect, this song feels like one big sick joke.

And no, I’m not trying to shift the blame onto anyone; I’m merely pointing out that the age difference between a 16-year-old virgin and an insanely experienced, rich, and famous man is substantial.

We all remember our firsts, for better or worse. And this is the memory she has to live with forever. She gave her virginity to a man she probably envisioned herself getting married to and having kids with, but instead, had to come to the cruel realization that he knew she was just a kid and thus, likely never took her seriously as a love interest.

Brandy was victimized in plain sight.

And with that, I leave you with this: