5. “You could’ve been the one but it wasn’t that serious/There was smoke in the air before, that was me clearing it…” (“Fireworks” featuring Alicia Keys)
You care. You really do. But post-relationship success has given you a new perspective: It was never Love & Basketball level. You know that now, so send her this petty bar.
4. “I avoided the coke game and went with Sprite instead/Uh-huh, that’s word to the millions that they puttin’ in…” (“The Resistance”)
This one is for the d-boys with sensitive hearts that made it out the trap. She thought you’d be selling nickel bags into your forties with no 401(k) — but your day-trading side hustle worked out magnificently. (Make sure to capitalize that “millions”!)
3. “How about you and all your morals in that outfit that you borrowed/Make the most out of tonight and worry about it all tomorrow…” (“Show Me a Good Time”)
If you’re gonna fire this off, make sure your ex is on the fence about her current guy — and that you’ve got Marcus Graham-level charisma. Otherwise, you’re gonna come off like Jerome from Martin.
2. “Better late than never but never late is better/They tell me time is money, well let’s spend it together…” (“Shut it Down” featuring The-Dream)
Only if you want to move her from ex to next.
1. “And all the girls that played me/Eat your muthafuckin’ heart out…” (“Unforgettable” featuring Young Jeezy)
After that fifth shot of Clase Azul, firing this one off is gonna seem like a great idea. Only the rest of the night can determine whether it is.
Read more: Future’s 6 Saddest Sadboy Songs, Ranked