5 Ways to Make the NBA Bubble Feel More Normal, Ranked
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5 Ways to Make the NBA Bubble Feel More Normal, Ranked

The season — such as it is — resumes today…

5. Make the Ms. Pac-Man machines Boban-sized

Serbia may not have had cutting-edge video games when the Mavs center was a kid, but if you’re gonna give him nothing but 8-bit throwbacks to play with, at least supersize them so he doesn’t look like Billy Madison sitting at a third-grade desk.

4. Slow down the murderous robo-cams

Remember in the Before Times, when the murderous robo-cams only roamed the sideline at a leisurely amble?

3. Enact a testing regimen for flewed-out guests

How else are players supposed to make terrible decisions?

2. Let Magic City cater the meals

If the wings from the famed ATL strip club are so magical they landed Lou Williams back in quarantine, they’ve gotta be better than the sack lunches that the Lakers were so upset about. Maybe this’ll stop Richaun Holmes from incurring his mama’s wrath again.

1. Accept the fact that the bubble’s not going anywhere

According to an ESPN interview with National Basketball Players Association executive director Michele Roberts, there’s a very good chance that next season looks a lot like this one. Eighty-two games of pro scrimmages. Fantastic!