6. Erykah Badu
Ms. Badu’s iPad gave out just as she was about to call Tyrone. Thankfully Jill Scott cranked that muhfucka up anyway. Let’s talk about solidarity.
5. Swizz Beatz
Swizzy sipped vintage wine while surfing struggle home Wi-Fi to start his trailblazing Verzuz battle. Luckily his in-car service was stronger — and Timbaland’s wine-drunk chair dancing made us forget all about the flimsy connection.
4. Sean Garrett
We’re not gonna speculate about what made The Pen damn near lick the phone camera on a number of occasions, but we are gonna speculate about the modem he was using: the kind that emits a screech and a burst of static every time you log on to AOL. Keyword: better luck next time.
Broadcasting live in the middle of a thunderstorm made this already-lopsided battle completely unwinnable. Thankfully, our secondhand embarrassment was coupled with the silver lining of long stretches watching Luda use his radio voice as his blowed-out ‘fro glistened. Next time, let’s get a rain check — or at least a visit from the Geek Squad.
2. Jagged Edge
You know shit is bad when Verzuz has to defend itself. “We send all the artists special sound equipment… specifically for IG,” the official account tweeted after Jagged Edge had given viewers what can only be described as a hissy fit. “Not everyone uses them. 🤷🏼♂️” Yes, with the shrugging man.
1. Teddy Riley
The purest example of doing the absolute most with the absolute least bandwidth. Love to industry vet turned background dancer Breyon Prescott, but maybe Teddy’s DIY concert experience — which required a whole-ass rescheduling — should’ve come with an ethernet cable instead.
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