5 Countries to Move to If Trump Wins Again, Ranked

5. Germany

With Berlin a longtime hotbed for Black artists comin outta left field — not to mention the near nonexistent homelessness rate, or the fact they got the Covid-19 shit figured out with the quickness — makes this an easy escape.

4. New Zealand

The sightseeing alone is worth a trek to the other end of the world. Are there weird man-sized bats? Absolutely. Billionaires building apocalypse bunkers? Sure. But it’s also one of the least densely populated countries in the world — so there’s still plenty of space between the hollow-mountain compounds. (Plus, Taika Waititi can make a damn movie.)

3. Argentina

We don’t know much about Argentina beyond Manu Ginobili, but Buenos Aires is gorgeous and it literally translates to “good air,” which in this moment of ever present wildfires and generalized planetary decline we’re really hoping is a literal description.

2. Cuba

Nothing screams “Black people minding their damn business” like the OG escape spot for freedom fighters. We’ll just get our teeth cleaned before we go, and keep the floss on deck.

1. Canada

America’s cousin to the north has always been kinder and cooler than its rowdy neighbor. And despite the racism that abounds there — don’t think it’s not rough for indigenous and Black/Brown folks these days — there’s a reason so many of the ancestors fled there. And in a month, they just might be welcoming an influx of November’s Very Own.