7. “Not the other guys!”
This playbook clearly didn’t work in 2016, but there’s something to be said about being the alternative to an aspiring fascist with an exceptional spray tan and bad hair who has regularly failed and embarrassed America for nearly four years — and that’s just counting his time in office.
6. “Ebony & ivory”
Low-hanging fruit? Sure. But it might be good to just call this Democratic integration project what it is! Plus, it offers an excuse to run back Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder’s classic racial-unity-inspiring anthem of the same name for the next month.
5. “Don’t swipe right, swipe left… ish”
The Dems have had a rough time when it comes to attracting nonvoters and those who are undecided. As a result, this presidential ticket has opted to move more toward the political center while remaining nominally to the left. Again, why not call a thing a thing (while taking a poke at the GOP)?
4. “The reformer’s reformists”
These two have a history of changing a rule or two when it comes to corrupt institutions. They’ve basically written the book on wide-sweeping legislation that is ultimately counterproductive to liberation. But the talk of change? Yes, that talk is about to be fire.
3. “Stop resisting”
Sure, there’s nothing more irresistible than the ol’ lesser-of-two-evils argument — except, maybe, a disgruntled boomer complaint about these damn kids trying to put an end to police brutality and racial violence. Or a last-gasp dog whistle for the Blue Lives Matter crowd. Three separate bad ideas in one!
2. “I’m with her”
This served as Hillary Clinton’s unofficial slogan back in 2016, but it’s a bit more fitting here, no? We’re sure Maya Rudolph and Jim Carrey would agree.
1. “Pop and cop”
Ol’ Joe has the energy of a mildly creepy uncle who can wink and crack jokes at the domino table. And Kamala has called herself “top cop” back in her days as California’s attorney general. Let’s take this combined political mystique and make it goofy — even if it sounds like the name of an ’80s copaganda buddy sitcom. (And even if Biden’s old nemesis Corn Pop comes around with a trademark infringement claim.) Keep PAC alive!