Fuck you and your $200 bottle of Avión tequila, Turtle.
Our language deserves better than being reduced to a shitty Adam Sandler flick that uses the word “fiery” in its official plot synopsis.
6. Street tacos
If your “street taco” mix includes the words “meatless” or “urban,” it came from no street.
Anyone who tells you Marlboro invented cowboys is just blowing smoke. It was Mexican vaqueros who set the stage for the Wild West — and they weren’t the basis for a racist football rivalry or children’s game.
4. Julio Iglesias
Nobody ever took dude seriously after he sang with Willie Nelson.
3. Rolling Rs
We thought we had a monopoly on rolling the letter R in casual Spanglish conversation — cooking our meats on the parrrrrilla and giving shoutouts to the homies from San Juan, Puerrrrrrto Rrrrrrico. But then White people put their kids in Montessori and suddenly six-year-old Mason is like, “This is my perrrrrro. His name is Alfrrrrredo. He’s a Pachon Navarrrrrro. Do you want to play with him?”
2. The southern border
We used to like crossing the border to visit family and go shopping — never imagining a future in which kids are put into cages to satisfy someone’s bloodthirsty political base.
They don’t call it getting “gentrifucked” for nothing.
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