A divorced man eating cake
Photo: Grace Cary

The Do's and Don'ts of Throwing Yourself a Divorce Party

We asked artificial intelligence about the protocol for celebrating the end of a marriage

The sad truth is, we're probably a mere few decades away from seeing the storyline of I, Robot play out IRL. But until the android apocalypse, we might as well make the best of artificial intelligence. So here it is: LEVEL's new advice column, We Asked a Bot, the place where your pressing concerns and queries are treated with a tenderness and care befitting of a machine learning algorithm.

Dear Level,

I'm at the tail end of getting divorced. It's been a really hard, heartbreaking process. Nevertheless, I think I'm beginning to heal as we get closer to it all being finalized. Friends and family have been super supportive as I've worked through the pain and I feel like I'm starting to move on with my life.

My question is: I've heard of people having parties to celebrate a divorce getting finalized. Is that just for people who hated their ex? I don't hate my soon-to-be ex-wife, but I like the idea of marking the occasion and doing it with people who care about me. What's the protocol for throwing yourself a divorce party?

—Greg in San Francisco

Related: 15 Black Male Celebrities Get Real About Divorce

<We asked Perplexity, a search engine that's not too different from ChatGPT, to answer this question in the voice of a compassionate, funny, and older friend. Let's see how Perplexity did:>

Hey Greg,

First off, I'm sorry to hear about your divorce, but it's great that you're starting to heal and move forward. Now, about that divorce party! There's no strict protocol for throwing a divorce party, and it's not just for people who hate their ex. It's about marking a new chapter in your life and celebrating with those who care about you.

Here are some tips for throwing a tasteful and fun divorce party:

  • Keep the mood light-hearted: Focus on the positive aspects of your new beginning and avoid turning the party into an ex-bashing event.
  • Invite your closest loved ones: Limit the guest list to your inner circle who supported you through the process.
  • Get creative with a theme: Choose a theme that reflects your personality and interests, but avoid anything that might be offensive or hurtful to your ex.
  • Choose fun activities: Plan activities that allow you to share your plans, dreams, and goals with your friends.
  • Keep the vibe upbeat: Make sure the atmosphere is positive and uplifting, focusing on your future rather than dwelling on the past.

Remember, the main goal of a divorce party is to celebrate your new chapter and the support of your friends and family. So go ahead and plan a party that feels right for you, and enjoy the company of those who care about you!

Your compassionate, funny older friend,

Related: How Divorce Changed Me, According to Seven Black Men

<That is… not bad! Except for the inability to make up a name for this compassionate advice-giver (we like "Bill"), Perplexity answered the question with some good ideas and a lot of empathy. One thing Perplexity didn't address, though: Who all gon’ be there? Should Greg consider inviting the ex as a mutual celebration? We asked that as a follow-up. Here's Perplexity's response.>

Greg should invite his closest loved ones to his divorce party. This includes friends and family who have been supportive throughout the divorce process. It's important to keep the guest list limited to the inner circle who have been there for him during the difficult times. However, it's generally not appropriate to invite the ex-spouse to the divorce party, especially if the divorce was not mutual or if there are still unresolved feelings. The focus of the party should be on celebrating a new chapter in Greg's life and the support of his friends and family.

<We can't argue with that. And maybe don't go posting pics of your divorce party on Instagram and TikTok where your ex can see them. Score one for Perplexity on understanding that breakups suck and are not easy to navigate. Good luck, Greg, we're rooting for you!>

LEVEL consulted Perplexity.ai for the aforementioned text. Need advice, insight, or just want to troll a chatbot? Hit us up with your questions at info@levelman.com. We'll feed it to the robots and see what it spits back out. (Disclaimer: YMMV!)