6. Mr. Get Me the Hell Out of Here
The person who, during jury selection, will say something wild about the government or about cops or about race, not because they believe it, but to avoid getting chosen.
5. Mrs. Blue Lives Matter
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4. Mr. Watched Every Episode of Every Show in the Law & Order franchise
Will mansplain "reasonable doubt" and "burden of proof" to anyone who'll listen and, in case you haven't noticed, is f**king thrilled to be here.
3. Ms. Just Trying to Make New Friends
Asks way too many personal questions in an effort to get to know everyone on the jury and make connections with locals. This isn't Meetup.com. Stop networking.
2. Sir Blabs-a-Lot
Despite clear instructions from the judge, this chatterbox posts details of the trial on social media and tells everybody they know about the case, removing only the names of the trial participants, thinking that makes it okay. Lock him up!
1. Mr. Contrarian Vote
This f**ker is the only holdout keeping the jury locked out of a unanimous vote and has nowhere better to be. But there's a reason. A week of free hotel and (not great) meals and sequestering from his awful family? Sign him up! All he has to do is stay unreasonable for as long as humanly possible.