Conservative conspiracy theorist and talk show host Alex Jones—the guy who claimed the Sandy Hook massacre was a hoax—owes the victims he mocked, caused distress, and terrorized more than $1 billion.
Yesterday, a Connecticut jury ordered Jones to pay the victims and an FBI agent $965 million in defamation damages. Earlier this year, a Texas jury found Jones responsible for $45.2 million in damages. While some are speculating he may not have to pay anywhere close to the $45 million in Texas, Alex Jones is still about to be one broke motherfucker.
During the ruling—which Jones did not attend, instead live-streaming his reactions on his Info Wars show—the bullshit artist mocked the verdict and said he’ll fight it. Then, he begged viewers to send him money. Let this verdict be a message to all the grifters out there: Watch yourself before you get caught up. Or, in other words, fuck around and find out.
When I was in college, me and my homie Trent would sit in the dank little basement where the office of the school newspaper was located and clown this future scourge of the nation. When we used to make fun of this dude, weirdos were still weirdos, and basic facts weren’t considered malleable possibilities. Jones would talk about conspiracy theories like U.S. senators being assassinated by the FBI with microwave guns. He was nuts, and to be honest, he was hilarious—a perfect butt of the joke. But this was before things took a turn for the worse. No longer are lunatics like Jones mostly relegated to the fringes of society, where they belong. Now, they’re everywhere. That was before the Trump era of alternate realities, before he became a part-time snake oil supplement salesman, before Sandy Hook. The joke’s worn thin for quite some time now, and thanks to his villainous nature—particularly the pain he’s caused the community of Newtown, Conn.—Jones has deserved such a comeuppance. Take this clown for all he’s worth.
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