7. Pastor Clever
From his bustleback Seville to his play for Mrs. Parker, everything about Bernie Mac’s character screamed false shepherd. But his biggest sinny-sin-sin was trying to get in on Smokey’s stash without putting something on it. No holy-rolling for you, Pastor!
The solution to Smokey’s problem is obvious: Just pay off Big Worm with the money that Deebo already stole from Stanley. Genius! He would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for that meddling crackhead. Forget the neck and the back—Ezal’s biggest pain was in the ass.
5. His mama
We’re not even tripping off the fact that Joann sent him to the store for cigarettes without enough money. But damn, when your son comes knocking because he’s in desperate need of a bathroom, you can’t even unlock the door? Ain’t no love.
To be fair, the owner of the smoothest ride in the whole movie didn’t get Smokey dusted with malice — it was more a case of Smoke Dog’s mouth writing a check his brain couldn’t cash. But that doesn’t really matter when you end up sweating the night away in a damn chicken coop.
There’s nothing quite like being forced to play accessory to a home invasion!
2. Big Worm
There’s principalities to this. We know this. Playing with a man’s money is like playing with his emotions. We know this, too. But damn, sending WC and a van full of shooters over $200? Just send a White woman to talk to his manager and call it a day.
You had one job, man. One job. Don’t get high on your own supply. The fact that you came out of this alive is a miracle.