It’s bad enough this guy is a wannabe Hitch, counseling single women via an Aussie brand of Hotepisms built on archaic and sexist gender constructs. (Whether “relationship guru” is a cover for a more intimate profession is your call to make.) But Ash is also that particularly frustrating manipulator who deploys half-truths and lies by omission (or outright), then plays victim when you call him on his shit. Sit this cappin’-ass coach on the bench.
They say don’t hate the player, hate the game. Yet this mononymed catfish (Weeyums!) is a walking SMH. After clumsily preying on a fiftysomething widowed mom with stock photos, rose emojis, and limited knowledge of his alleged home city, he tried to extort her for money, using her compromising pics as blackmail. Sure, Yolanda should’ve known better, but shame on this scammer with game more basic than Andre Miller’s.
We’re not gonna speculate on whether the allegations against Geoffrey are true (if so, it’s a really, really bad look). But based entirely on what we’ve seen on screen, this dude’s thirst is the worst. He pouted after Varya curved his marriage proposal, flew back home, and began dating longtime friend Mary mere weeks later — only to dump her when Varya popped back up, ready to take his hand in marriage. Get this guy some Poland Spring.
2. Big Ed
Big Ed became a poster child for White entitlement when he visited his now ex-girlfriend Rosemarie in the Philippines. Never mind lying about his height and desire for more children — Ed couldn’t contain his disgust for her living conditions, pressured her to shave her legs and get an STD test, and presented her with mouthwash as if it were a damn iPhone 15 (she revealed that an ulcer was responsible for her halitosis). Beyond the rude gestures to Rose, he alienated his disapproving daughter (twice!) in the name of love. The crying Jordan meme has officially found some worthy competition.
Buzzfeed put it best: “Tom Brooks From 90 Day Fiancé Is One of the Most Toxic People I’ve Ever Seen on a Reality TV Show.” Not only did this womanizing sociopath juggle romantic interests within his own orbit — playing all kinds of Jedi mind tricks along the way — he also shot his shot at other cast members on the show! “We’ve already established that I’m an asshole,” he said during the three-part tell-all finale. At least he’s self-aware.
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