6. Angus Burger
Sure, you could order a burger at Waffle House, but that’s like going to a strip club to deliver a TED Talk on Bamboozled. You really think that’s going to go well?
5. Toddle House Omelet
The eggs (beaten with a milkshake blender!) are very good — you can stuff them with ham and cheese and peppers and get tasty buttered grits on the side. But as a stand-alone meal, something feels like it’s missing. Oh yeah: waffles.
4. The Texas Cheesesteak Melt
WH’s lunch and dinner menus are largely trash, but cheesesteak on gigantic Texas toast is surprisingly good, especially when loaded with onions, mushrooms, and a giant slice of melted, orange American cheese, momma-style.
3. Hashbrowns All-The-Way
Perhaps the most YOLO meal Waffle House has to offer, this is a plate of crispy hashbrowns under grilled onions, smoked ham, that big cheese slice, tomatoes, jalapeños, mushrooms, and sausage gravy. And then they put Bert’s Chili on top like goddamn maniacs. Don’t knock it until you try it, but maybe make sure your health insurance is up to date first.
2. The All-Star Special
Naming something on your own menu the GOAT takes chutzpah, but it’s justified by the sheer volume of options included in one All-Star Special. A full waffle (see #1); plenty of bacon, sausage, or ham; two or three eggs; sides; toast or biscuits; toppings like grilled mushrooms or gravy; and a handful of those tiny butter and jelly packets. All of America’s excesses on one plate.
1. Any Meal With a Pecan Waffle
If you’re not ordering at least one waffle for the table at Waffle House, what are you even doing there? Are you trying to incite an international pancake versus waffle war with your negligence? Waffles are the star of this show, and the pecan waffles — with their crunchy payload lumped in the center — are the best of the bunch. The plain, chocolate chip, and peanut butter chip waffles are great too, but unless you have a nut allergy, you have no excuse to skip this one.