Sure, the hardboiled variety makes for a portable snack, and its soft-boiled counterpart dresses up (deep sigh of resignation) avocado toast. They both keep Easter egg hunts from being a hot mess. But be serious: Despite being maddeningly difficult to de-shell, boiled eggs are basic as hell. You really proud of something that requires the cheffing ability of a reasonably smart kindergartener?
5/4. Sunny-side up and over easy (tie)
You can’t knock a classic — even if those anti-drug commercials from the ’90s tried to ruin these for us.
We were once told that an omelette is only an overdone scrambled egg, and we’ve never been the same since. The thing that elevates it, obviously, is those delicious fillings — spinach, mushrooms, bell peppers, bacon, cheese, whatever. But that raises a crucial question: Is an omelette a sandwich? We’ll wait while you stare into the void.
Like boiled eggs, these have no drip. (And if they do have drip, it’s because you belong nowhere near a kitchen.) Unlike boiled eggs, very few people actually cook them just right. If you’re not among those very few, just stick to sandwiches.
There’s a reason this style shares its name with getting recruited for a new job. Poached eggs done correctly — the airy, delicate, but still cooked-through white, the delicious yellow goo — are on the money.
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