The 6 Summertime Sleeping Positions for Couples That Might Not End in Divorce, Ranked
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The 6 Summertime Sleeping Positions for Couples That Might Not End in Divorce, Ranked

Lacking A/C and want your relationship to work? Stick to these.

6. Distance Spooning

Sure, it’s nice to stay hugged up throughout a REM cycle, but when that temperature’s rising, gotta give us three feet, word to Weezy.

5. Three Sheets to the Wind

Nope, not drunk — just as uncovered as possible. Unless you’ve got some magical diaphanous linen that distributes chilled vapor over your body, keeping the covers on is a sureness your dermis’ll be a furnace.

4. The Full Backyardigan

Lucky enough to have some private outdoor space? A patio? Roof access? A driveway? Anything that lets you retire in the relative bliss of the night air? Camping time! Forget the tent, just pull out the air mattress and pray for a breeze.

3. Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

Heat rises, right? [Taps head knowingly] Get underneath it, fam. Plus, you’re closer to that poor plug-in Vornado trying to do the job of a 8,000 BTU air conditioner.

2. The Voluntary Doghouse

No, you didn’t fuck up. But take the L — and the couch — anyway. Bonus points for framing it as “Baby, I just want you to be comfortable.”

1. The Beast With No Back

We’ve already established that spoons belong in separate drawers (unless you’re in a relationship with a sentient Slurpee), and face-to-face introduces hot breath into the equation. Just pretend you’re annoyed with each other — which, real talk, you might be when the room’s as muggy as an Everglades greenhouse — and face opposite sides of the bed.

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