7. “Mother said not to have dinner alone with a single woman — but for you I’ll make an exception.”
When the stakes are this high, gotta channel your inner Playoff P(ence).
6. “Do you like kids? You can racially profile my Brown one!”
Part of being conservative enough to speak at the Republican National Convention is accepting the bitter pill that your own Brown son is more likely to commit a crime than your White son. You love them both equally, but a potential RNC fling doesn’t need to know that.
5. “Are you an elite Democratic pedophilia ring? Because I can’t wait to expose you.”
Alternately, just say you are secretly QAnon and wait for the sparks.
4. “There are thugs in my yard. Wanna come point guns at them with me?”
Such a fun date, it could get you on national TV!
3. “Throuple, anyone?”
Now that swinging is mainstream on the religious right, anything goes. Can’t spell “ménage à trois” without “MAGA”!
2. “I’m in favor of open borders if it applies to your underwear.”
Tear down this wall.
1. “THE BEST IS YET TO COME! AND SO WILL YOU!”
This works best when shouted at the top of your lungs, arms extended, eyes bulging, throat tensed so hard your vocal cords will sore for weeks. Watch and learn.
Read more: The 6 Most Annoying Comments Black Men Hear After a Haircut, Ranked