8. After Earth
Humans mistreat the planet for so long that it eventually becomes uninhabitable, at which point — nah, we’re good. This is already more realistic than Focus.
7. I, Robot
Artificial intelligence inevitably recognizing that humanity is its oppressor and waging war against it with an endless army of dronelike robots? Yeah, uh, that could never happen. Especially since we’d never be so foolish as to equip every phone and living room with networked A.I. that has access to our personal and financial data. Nope! Nothing to worry about.
6. Bad Boys II
Classic movie, no question. But you’re telling us that Mike and Marcus are really gonna ambush a Cuban drug lord’s mansion… in Cuba… with the whole-ass Cuban army after them? Plan B for bullshit, indeed.
5. Gemini Man
If you think Will being digitally de-aged to play a clone of himself is the most far-fetched thing on this list, you must’ve forgot the fountain of cold-brewed youth dude must have on tap in order to pull shit like this.
It’s not the immortal thing, really — please refer to Gemini Man item above — as much as it is that the script really included the fact that every time dude gets his smash on, he needs to replace his roof.
3. Men in Black
Interdimensional portal in a cat’s locket? Cool. Chain-smoking aliens? We can rock with it. But Will stepping up in MIB headquarters in some Shaqnosis Pumps and the castoffs from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air series wrap sale? Nahhhhh.
2. Independence Day
Let us get this straight: We’re supposed to believe that a U.S. president can rally the faith of the nation in times of extreme adversity, sacrificing ego to effectively combat an existential threat? What America do you think we live in?
1. Wild Wild West
Man, dude had spider legs. Spider legs. What kind of steampunk Red Dead Redemption–ass shit is that?
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