9. Everything else
Let’s just get one thing out of the way: Every flavor not on this list is trash. Mango. Apricot. Berry. Peach-Pear. (Seriously? Y’all tried to market pear? Shout out to all the pear, but what’s next, Cottage Cheese flavor?) All big, big trash.
8. Coconut
Full disclosure: This comes very close to trash, but we have to respect the audacity.
7. Orange
The problem here is that orange is a foundational soda flavor, word to Sunkist and whatever Cliff Huxtable used to drink out of that squat-looking bottle. If it’s orange and carbonated, it’s gotta be BRIGHT-ASS ORANGE and sweeter than Wilford Brimley’s mustache. (Rest in power, Wilford Brimley!)
6. Razz-Cranberry
“Shouldn’t we just call it Cran-Raspberry, boss?” “What, and have Ocean Spray’s lawyers come after us? Ever since TikTok skateboard guy, they’re drunk with power!”
5. Lime
Finally. Finally, we’re into legitimately good territory. Citrus all day, dunny.
4. Pamplemousse
People love claiming this one. It might be because they love saying “pamplemousse,” but we’re guessing it’s mostly because they’ve never had a truly delicious grapefruit soda. Once you’ve had a Ting, you know this one can’t crack top three!
3. Lemon
What more can we say? Palate-cleansing without being cloying thanks to finely calibrated tartness. Perfect with Mediterranean foods. (Yeah, we’re out here doing pairings now. Holler at your sommelier.)
2. Plain
The Air Force One of the seltzer game: classic no-frills quality. LaCroix isn’t about the flavors; it’s about the perfect level of carbonation — not too sharp, not too soft — and that’s what you get with this stalwart.
1. Key Lime
Bow down to a flavor that’s greater than you. Sounds terrible, but believe us: This one’s a major key.
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