Not even a week into the new year, 2021 decided to show its ass. On January 6, Trump supporters raided the U.S. Capitol in a series of events that began as a “Stop the Steal” protest, then devolved into a full-blown insurrection — one that was incited and encouraged by the sitting president himself (and reportedly assisted by members of the GOP).
Anyone with even a baseline knowledge of American history could tell you how the hell we got here. But the same can’t be said for a man who is the subject of one of the more unusual photos capturing the chaos. First off, dude is Black, so there’s that. His attire — Nike Prestos, blue sweats, an orange hoodie beneath a bubble coat, a backpack, and a red cap turned to the back that may or may not be MAGA — is markedly different from the Walmart/Bass Pro/Rainbow Six chic sported by others who’d stormed the building. There he stood, seemingly lost and out of place amid vandals like Florida Podium Man and the guy rocking a skimpy Chewbacca getup. Needless to say, we had questions. And the primary one was: What the fuck?
I’m hungry as hell by this point, but also feeling uncomfortable. I said, “Gavin, you do realize I’m… Black… right?” He said, “Of course I know you’re African American.”
After unsuccessfully attempting to contact this unidentified, seemingly wayward man, we said to hell with it and conjured up our own version of events. Peep his side of the story, probably, below.
LEVEL: The world wants to know: What is going on in that photo? How did you find yourself standing in a chamber of Congress during a whole-ass coup?
Lost and Confused: Don’t believe what you see online. I wasn’t even supposed to be in D.C. that day. I woke up that morning thinking I was going to Laurel, Maryland. Real shit.
What were your plans in Laurel?
Not many people know this, but the Amish market up there got some of the most fire chicken of all time. I was gonna get that and pick up some Mumbo sauce on the way back.