10. Canned food
Sure, you’re probably better off copping from a real grocer. But if you forget to pick up some (non-Goya) black beans on your supermarket sweep, the corner store will hold you down. (Just be sure to check that expiration date, fam.)
8. Quarter Waters
You know you’re old-school if you still call these sugary swigs “quarter waters” despite the fact that, a) they haven’t cost 25 cents since the Clinton years; and b) they’re definitely not water. Have you had your daily serving of Red 40 today?
7. Lotto tickets
One of the few guarantees in life is that your number will hit the day you forgot to play.
6. Malt liquor
St. Ides. Olde English. Colt 45. These brews are big, cheap, and in the words of Dave Chappelle (as Samuel L. Jackson), “It’ll get you drunk!”
5. Damn-near any household product
Pretty sure the ozone layer is fucked up from all the bodega-bought Fabuloso you’ve been spraying on your countertop, but go off!
3. Candy and Pastries (tie)
Now this is where bodegas really shine. From Twinkies to the almighty Honey Buns, Peanut Chews to Tootsie Rolls, hard-ass Now and Laters to Airheads, there are seemingly infinite ways to destroy your teeth (and blood sugar level).
2. Breakfast sandwiches
Bacon, egg, and cheese. That’s it. That’s the sell.
This doesn’t just go for cigarettes. Just about any family pack item that comes individually packaged can be purchased singularly at one of these shops, from cold meds to microwave popcorn to batteries to contraception. Best believe those prices will be marked up, though, because bodegas mean business.