10 Things You’re Most Likely to Buy From a Bodega, Ranked

10 Things You’re Most Likely to Buy From a Bodega, Ranked

Note: The cat is not for sale

10. Canned food

Sure, you’re probably better off copping from a real grocer. But if you forget to pick up some (non-Goya) black beans on your supermarket sweep, the corner store will hold you down. (Just be sure to check that expiration date, fam.)

9. Durags

Depending on the neighborhood, it may be hard enough to locate a beauty supply store (much less navigate it to find what you desire). Bodegas got your weak waves covered.

8. Quarter Waters

You know you’re old-school if you still call these sugary swigs “quarter waters” despite the fact that, a) they haven’t cost 25 cents since the Clinton years; and b) they’re definitely not water. Have you had your daily serving of Red 40 today?

7. Lotto tickets

One of the few guarantees in life is that your number will hit the day you forgot to play.

6. Malt liquor

St. Ides. Olde English. Colt 45. These brews are big, cheap, and in the words of Dave Chappelle (as Samuel L. Jackson), “It’ll get you drunk!”

5. Damn-near any household product

Pretty sure the ozone layer is fucked up from all the bodega-bought Fabuloso you’ve been spraying on your countertop, but go off!

3. Candy and Pastries (tie)

Now this is where bodegas really shine. From Twinkies to the almighty Honey Buns, Peanut Chews to Tootsie Rolls, hard-ass Now and Laters to Airheads, there are seemingly infinite ways to destroy your teeth (and blood sugar level).

2. Breakfast sandwiches

Bacon, egg, and cheese. That’s it. That’s the sell.

1. Loosies

This doesn’t just go for cigarettes. Just about any family pack item that comes individually packaged can be purchased singularly at one of these shops, from cold meds to microwave popcorn to batteries to contraception. Best believe those prices will be marked up, though, because bodegas mean business.

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