5. Larry David
There’s no mystery to this value meal: Palestinian chicken and the hottest coffee you can manage. If a paragon of mass production can satisfy a guy like Larry — who already had a subpar deli sandwich named after him — then even the pickiest eater can curb their lack of enthusiasm.
4. Kanye West
It’s not just a burger, fam, it’s a paradigm shift. (Well, it’s a Filet-O-Fish, obviously, but there are only like 17 of them total and they’re really, really expensive — especially once they hit StockX and you find yourself blowing your rent money on a shriveled-ass sandwich just to stunt.)
3. Pusha T
Not only did King Push literally write the chain’s “I’m Lovin’ It” jingle, but he rapped on the extended version, too. And who else can claim to have served millions and millions before they even picked up a mic?
2. Cardi B
Keep it simple but luxurious with a Wagyu And Pickles. Burger King can’t sue if you call it a “WAPpa,” right?
1. Donald Trump
’80s kids remember the McDLT, the burger that was served (by George Costanza!) in a weird clamshell container to “keep the hot side hot and the cool side cool.” With one minor letter change and a few different ingredients, the McDJT could do the exact same thing for the avowed fast food lover — just with steaming hot bullshit on one side and coldblooded disregard for humanity on the other.