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5. No one remembers until it’s too late
These things play out the same way every spring: You’re either out in the streets or at home enjoying life and a late Saturday night transitions into early Sunday morning. Next thing you know, all of the clocks in your vicinity quantum leap from 1:59 a.m. to 3 a.m. and it’s officially late as hell — one hour closer to Monday. Either that, or you sleep through the time warp and wake up at, like, noon, in a state of confusion, contemplating life and wondering how the hell you slept the whole morning away. Bring on the Sunday blues.
4. It’s unsafe
Daylight saving time is more than just a mindfuck — it actually throws off our circadian rhythm, which leaves folks disoriented as hell for as long as a couple of days. That’s more sleepy folks on the roads, more fender benders and car wrecks, and more people experiencing seasonal affective disorder. To whom do we need to write a letter to end this madness??
3. Its acronym is already taken
The only DST we acknowledge rocks crimson and cream, throws up pyramid hand signs, and makes the sound “oo-oop!” Delta Sigma Theta, what up!
2. It’s not observed everywhere
The good people of Hawaii, Arizona, Puerto Rico, and several other U.S. territories have enough sense not to acknowledge this foolery for foolery sake. (Even Indiana saw the light, at least before it caved to Big DST in 2006.) When is the rest of the country going to catch up?
1. It doesn’t even serve its intended purpose
Everyone says the tradition started for farmers, but they were never in support of these Jedi mind tricks. Daylight saving time was actually put into effect in the United States during World War I as an effort to conserve electricity and fuel. But these days, the time change actually causes us to use even more energy. Basically, it’s a dumb rule that exists because no one has bothered to change it. America in a nutshell.
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