5 Reasons Spring Is Trash, Ranked

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5. Gemini SZN

The end of spring coincides with the most infamous of zodiac signs getting its time in the sun. At least one LEVEL editor vehemently opposes the characterization of Geminis being shifty and two-faced; as for the rest of you, hope you look forward to celebrating and ushering in another class of Kanye Wests and Amy Schumers every year.

4. The return of bugs

We’re not talking about the bunny. After a few months of winter’s cold and darkness, you almost forget about the existence of these pests — mosquitoes, houseflies, wasps. Yet every year, without fail, they return, buzzing around your earlobes and annoying the hell out of you. Pass the swatter.

3. Spring breakers

The movie was bad enough. Before remote learning took over, this time of the year was a pain in the neck for parents, who’d have to deal with a week of grade-school-aged kids in the house. It’s a nightmare for those of us living in basically any city with a beach, as raucous college students show their asses and act a damn fool in the streets like it’s not 12:30 p.m. on a Wednesday. Yes, even in a pandemic.

2. Will it ever stop raining? (Hint: no)

Prince made the rain sound like a blast. Ditto for Lil Wayne, Oran “Juice” Jones, Tay Zonday, and Soul for Real. But the ceaseless downpour you’re about to experience isn’t purple, nor does it involve dollar bills, candy, or whatever SWV was singing about. Have fun with, like, 40 days and 40 nights of nonstop precipitation and soggy socks.

1. The terrorism of allergies

Love to the most severe of seasonal sufferers, who seemingly have two options of existence during this dreaded stretch of pollen-packed months: 1) Constant sneezing, your nostrils red and raw from repeated tissue use, and the people in your direct vicinity quickly and visibly becoming annoyed by your involuntary reflexes (we’re tired of hearing “bless you” every five seconds, too); or 2) a 90-day Benadryl-induced coma. There is no in-between.