11. Boo 2! A Madea Halloween (2017)
Tyler Perry: Let’s do a sequel!
10. A Madea Christmas (2013)
Christmas is a pagan-ass holiday, so it’s surprising that Tyler Perry’s translation of God’s word would even allow the moral latitude to celebrate this shit. Then again, we’ve seen Madea shoot at the feet of her own relatives, so what’s a little Santa Claus gon’ hurt? (And by the way, this movie deserves two lumps of coal.)
9. Madea’s Tough Love (2015)
There really are so many other ways to discipline to your kids without beating they ass — like making them watch this animated film, for instance. One viewing will scare them straight faster than you could say “Black Mrs. Doubtfire!”
8. Boo! A Madea Halloween (2016)
Who do we have to thank for this laughable horror crossover? None other than Chris Rock, whose spoof in Top Five brought this monstrosity to life. Tyler may have been conflicted about playing Madea, but we’re sure he had no problem with the shitload of profit this one somehow raked in.
7. A Madea Family Funeral (2019)
How’s this for a synopsis: Weekend plans for a 40th wedding anniversary celebration turn into a homegoing service when the unfaithful husband dies mid-coitus with (gasp!) his wife’s best friend. Unfortunately, loved ones can’t close the casket on this cheater — or this exhausted series, tbh — due to the smiling corpse’s posthumous erection. Talk about mourning wood. (What?! When the jokes are this cheap, might as well get in on the fun!)
6. Madea’s Witness Protection (2012)
An all too familiar fish-out-of-water casting juxtaposes your favorite gun-toting matriarch with the dad from American Pie and some other White folks. There’s a ponzi scheme, missing funds from a church building budget — wait a minute, is this the most realistic Madea movie?
5. Madea’s Big Happy Family (2011)
Your man threw everything into the crockpot for this one: incest, cancer, Maury Povich, a drug dealer named Byron who looks just like Bow Wow. This script is doing the most, but both the shenanigans and sympathetic moments will have you in tears.
4. Madea’s Family Reunion (2006)
Three words for you: Hot. Ass. Grits.
3. Madea Goes to Jail (2009)
Sure, Madea stays strapped, has a volatile temperament, and is a habitual line stepper. But she — actually, never mind, maybe this hothead deserves to serve some hard time. Can you believe Tyler had these fools organize a whole protest movement to free Madea? Picket lines, picket signs, the whole nine. Cue Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On.”
2. I Can Do Bad All By Myself (2009)
Taraji P. Henson acts her ass off here, lifting a stereotypical tragic female lead role into something that draws actual emotion. Some might even call her performance… electrifying. Madea teaching a teenage girl how to pray is all the comic relief you need.
1. Diary of a Mad Black Woman (2005)
Madea’s cinematic debut featured the absolute essence of a Tyler Perry joint: After a tumultuous entanglement, a traumatized Black woman desperately falls into the beige arms of a light-skinned savior (Shemar Moore) with a terrible wig. Is it laid on thick? Absolutely. But run back the wheelchair-in-the-bathtub scene and tell us this ain’t a Black-ass classic!