The 5 Best Ways to Celebrate MLK Day, Ranked
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The 5 Best Ways to Celebrate MLK Day, Ranked

All hail the King!

5. Enjoy all of the classic party flyers

Every Martin Luther King Jr. Day there emerges a new set of heavily photoshopped flyers that depict the icon with all of the D-boy essentials: a thick wad of cash, gaudy jewelry, strippers, bottles of Hennessy. It’s damn near a Black institution. Go ahead and celebrate by basking in their stupidity, and then daydreaming about the civil rights leader’s iconic march on Compound.

4. Share an MLK quote that makes White people uncomfortable

Your White friends love to post “Kumbaya” King quotes about peace, unity, and faith in America. But they don’t know the real MLK was a whole revolutionary. So share one of his spicier quotables. Here’s a start: “Why does White America delude itself, and how does it rationalize the evil it retains?” But don’t attribute it to him. Drop that tidbit after they get angry and call you racist. It’s beautiful poetry.

3. Community service

We’d be remiss to neglect encouraging you to give back. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Donate clothing to a homeless shelter. Plant a damn tree. We’re contractually obligated to tell you this.

2. Don’t do shit

On the other hand, you could just sit back and not do a single goddamn thing all day. It’s a three-day weekend and Black people work too damn hard in this country. Binge watch something and let the good times roll. You’ll be back to work on Tuesday.

1. Spend 24 hours on Clubhouse

You’ve heard of Zoom bombing? Same general idea, except instead of being a racist troll piece of shit, you’ll just hop in and out of various Clubhouse rooms requesting speaking privileges — only to recite speeches by the honorable Dr. King, unprompted, until you’re muted and/or kicked out. A day of service, indeed.

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