5. Fried Oreos
Some of you may have never experienced this; we are praying for you. Fried Oreos with a few lines of powdered sugar on top are what state fair dreams are made of. Imagine the chocolate goodness of an Oreo — but greasy! Sure, each one shaves a few months off your lifespan, but it’s worth it.
4. Fried churros
We’re downing, like, a dozen of these Mexican delights at a time whenever the opportunity presents itself. Don’t judge — this ain’t People’s Court.
3. Fried catfish
The top three gets really competitive, but this soul food staple is just epic. A perfectly fried catfish is like a Christmas miracle making love to a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Fried catfish between two slices of white bread? Legalized crack.
2. French fries
Move over Scottie Pippen, Robin, Spliff Star: The french fry is the greatest sidekick on earth. Fries take every sandwich over the top. Not only that, but they can be the canvases onto which you can dump things like cheese and chili and meats to make into their own special dishes. They’re much more than just hype, man.
1. Fried chicken
This is a no-brainer. Leg, breast, wing — doesn’t matter. When that sweet yard bird makes tender love to grease and they create a crunchy nirvana of goodness? Nothing but respect for our president.
Read more: 5 Reasons Spring Is Trash, Ranked