5. Popeyes’ Buttermilk Biscuit
This take may seem even hotter than a batch pulled fresh from the oven, but hear us out. Sure, Popeyes’ buttermilk biscuit (shout out to Kid Sensation!) can stand flake to flake with any of the wonders on this list, but that fact holds true only under ideal conditions: warm, drizzled with honey, and served with a large cup of the sweet cold liquid of your choice. Otherwise, you’re left with a dry and ashy side that really should have a choking hazard symbol printed on the box.
4. Church’s Chicken’s Honey-Butter Biscuit
If left to cool for too long, these honey-slathered delights can get as tough as a Soviet-era ration. Still, it’s unlikely that these greasy, glazed clouds will go uneaten for that long. Let the church say amen.
3. Bojangles’ Plain Biscuit
These may be plain, but they’re not basic. The down-home-style biscuits — dipped and dabbed in the Charlotte-based chain’s savory gravy — will have you damn-near tap dancing for seconds.
2. Red Lobster’s Cheddar Bay Biscuit
Does anyone even go to Red Lobster for seafood?
1. Cracker Barrel’s Old Country Store Biscuit
What if we told you that Cracker Barrel’s antebellum vibe and unironic name is all a ruse to keep Black folks from enjoying the utter perfection of the biscuit-and-gravy combo? Stay woke — at least, until the itis takes ahold.