Let’s be honest: Vaccine or not, we’re probably still gonna be shut down for a large portion of the year. White tees and basketball shorts have served you just fine for Zoom calls this long — don’t suddenly become a quarantine Hypebeast.
4. Tummy tea
The weight-loss promise of shitting away the pounds is never a wise investment. Just grab a bottle of prune juice, stay within clenched-knee-shuffling radius of a bathroom, and call it a day.
3. Sketchy plastic surgery
You may not be able to afford Dr. Oz with your government funds (even if you score the full $600!), but that doesn’t mean you should blow your coins on some back-alley botox.
Granted, we don’t completely understand the mechanics of the currency trade market, so maybe it just feels sketchy. We just wish the Forex believers we know would let us in on the scam instead of setting us up for the okey-doke. Don’t let us spend our stimulus check on foolishness; let’s swindle everyone else!
Because none of us should be paying rent. (Plus, landlords are generally broke bois who need to find they own business to mind.)