The 8 ‘Insecure’ Characters You Don’t Want as Your Spades Partner, Ranked

8. Kelli

Definitely your best choice — unless there’s liquor, weed, or any other distractions on (or under) the table.

7. Dro

You just know this dude is gonna try to keep all of the queens in his hand, just in case.

6. Molly

Gets up, goes to the kitchen, pours wine, checks phone. Then, when you have the nerve to get annoyed, she gives you alllll the smoke.

5. Thug Yoda

“Why you but my blubs?!” Just be glad you’re not playing banasta.

4. Derek

For the last time: No, we’re not gonna play Hearts. We don’t care what Jack and Jill tournament you won from Montessori through prep school.

3. Issa

There’s no better partner — as long as you’re playing “zoning out and spitting imaginary struggle freestyles, then overbidding worse than the Pentagon.”

2. Chad

“Wait, y’all never played seven-deuce-recipe-card-little-joker-ace? Fuck we even doing here?”

1. Issa’s old co-workers from We Got Y’all

Something about the way they say “renege” just… dunno, man. They like it too much.