Although never directly stated, I was raised to believe homosexuality was somehow more damning than most other sins. It was tucked somewhere between suicide, the unforgivable sin, and premeditated murder.

I struggled with this aspect of the Black church more than any other. I could get past many of the illogical magical stories. I could get past this book we value so highly, being put together by flawed humans. However, the insistence that homosexuality was this inhumane thing frustrated and confused me.

I’ve watched a man who constantly cheated on and abused his wife showered with the love of the church, while they would keep an openly gay participant at arm's length, as if his presence somehow stained the church.

To this day, despite my knowledge of the world (and likely because of it), I find some comfort in the thought of Jesus. However, Christianity, and especially the Black church, continues to disappoint me.

Black church versus comedian

KevOnStage is a Black comedian steeped in the Black church. His rise to fame has been, as far as I can tell, mostly organic. People started sharing his videos with me over the last year or so.

They are usually funny enough and based on observational humor. He was also pretty open about being a Christian. I imagine he drew the same audience Tyler Perry originally drew before blowing up.

Kev now has television shows and may be one of the biggest Black comedians, at least in recent memory. However, he did something so horrid that many of his original fans are angry.

He said that he loved LGBT people.

Gasp!

What a radical Christian thought…loving thy neighbor.

KevOnStage said:

“I’ve been pretty vocal about loving LGBT people and that just doesn’t go over well with a lot of church people…..If I go to judgment day and God is like ‘Kev, let’s talk about your love for LGBT people and all the things you said,’ I’m going to take my chances….and if he was like, I didn’t like that. I would say, ‘Well man, I thought I was going to go with love….’ Jesus lead with love at every point” source.

I shouldn’t be surprised by the church crowd being critical of this, even though he explained it in a way that easily falls under Jesus’s teaching. He, without sin, may cast the first stone.

There is something about humans and this desire to be morally superior.

“My sin isn’t as bad as your sin!”

“I would never watch a show created by this bad person!”

“I don’t vote at all because they are all some degree of bad!”

Knowing this, I still found myself surprised that, in the land of Trump, Black people could find the energy to be angry at Kev. He isn’t even some great LGBT ally, but he is something healthy and honest that is needed in this Christian space. For whatever reason, perhaps simple indoctrination, some people are resistant to this.

Paradigm shifts are uncomfortable. If we are told again and again that something is bad, and we blindly accept it, and then someone says, um actually…

Well, sometimes humans don’t want to deal with the discomfort. Discomfort and growth go hand in hand, so I’ve always leaned into it.

Straight men must hate gay people

When I was in high school, I did the unthinkable. I asked my mother why gay people went to hell. Of course, my family assumed I was gay and spent the next several months sending me scripture and praying for me.

I’m pretty sure many of them still think I’m gay to this day. Sadly, from my experience, straight men must treat gay people exactly how the Black church treats them.

At baseline, men, especially Black men, are taught to view homosexuality as bad. At their kindest, anything remotely gay is kept at arm's length. However, a “truly masculine” man will show how much he hates gay people at every opportunity.

I exaggerate, but only mildly.

For Black men, homosexuality is presented as a betrayal of manhood to a group that is constantly clawing for their masculinity and humanity to be acknowledged.

This is all very sad, and if we just take a step back and remove ourselves from the social context, it is downright hilarious in a twisted way: the compulsion to shout “no homo” after eating a banana, the fear of fully embracing another man in a hug, the duty to hide any emotions that could be described as queer.

I’ve had men look at me differently because two of my best friends are gay. Somehow, this too is viewed as a betrayal of the brotherhood.

My students are currently working on recreating a scene from Romeo and Juliet. One student volunteers to be Mercutio in his group, and his peer, who learned Mercutio is sometimes interpreted as gay, had a field day trying to poke fun at him.

I attempted to step in and explain Mercutio was probably in love with Romeo, but it doesn’t matter. It is a love story, and they are just acting, but this wasn’t enough.

While I was able to get the kid who initiated the accusation to hush, the other student lost interest in playing Mercutio. Unfortunately, this interaction is common, and no matter how many speeches I give, I can’t make a dent in their perception.

The Black church has lost some authority with the youth, but a consistent shift in how they speak about the LGBTQ community would shift that perception.

Sometimes I almost trick myself into thinking the church is progressing, but then I hear stories like Kev’s. He is far from an advocate, but a comment as simple as love, an attempt to live like Jesus, brought backlash from the church that praises Jesus.

We still have so much work to do.