4. Sunday
Regardless of the extended weekend configuration, Sunday is a sad, anxiety-ridden reminder that the end is near (with no operating Chick-fil-As to soothe your soul). Before you know it, you’ll be back to fielding Slack messages and forcing smiles throughout Zoom calls in which you have to remind your co-worker Jan for the millionth time that her mic is muted, for f**k’s sake.
3. Friday
Friday has long held a special place in the cultural canon—hat tip to Cube and Kanye for their contributions—but it loses some of its luster as part of a Big Three. We know you already half-ass it on the regular; when it becomes a day off, it’s still a bit like business as usual. We all come alive in the nighttime, anyway.
2. Saturday
The weekend is a blank canvas. So vast. So full of opportunity. The world is your damn oyster. Got errands to run? Knock yourself out. Wanna stay home and chill, maybe spend some time with the fam? That’s your prerogative, word to Bobby. Hell, you can even day drink yourself into a 3 p.m. coma, wake up at 8:30 p.m., and self-medicate with some trash fast food. You’ve got all day Sunday to shake off the hangover! (See number 4 above.)
1. Monday
There’s something magical about transforming the worst day of the week into the best. It really doesn’t matter how you spend the day, it still feels like cheating the system, especially considering the fact that you’ve only got a four-day work week ahead of you. Whatever you do, live your best life — because Tuesday is gonna f**king suck.
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