Cross-promotional food experiments are nothing new: McDonald's has been making a mint on movie and celebrity tie-ins for decades. But for this year's Aug. 5 National Mustard Day, French's may have gone too far: they're introducing a mustard-flavored Skittle. Instead of tasting the rainbow, you'd be tasting the top side of a hot dog, starting in August when the company does pop ups in cities including Atlanta and New York and makes the limited-edition flavor available online.
But hear us out! We got to thinking, maybe this is a blessing in (gross) disguise for all the dads out there who can't get their kids to stop consuming candy. (You think we don't know you sneak candy, kids? YOU LEAVE THE WRAPPERS UNDER YOUR BED WHERE WE CAN FIND THEM.)
What if we used the power of cross promotional branding to break our kids' tooth-decaying candy crush? Here's the plan, desperate dads:
- Get some of those Classic Yellow French's Mustard Skittles.
- Tell your kids that for one day only, they're allowed to eat as many Skittles candies as they want, but you get to pick the color.
- Provide a bowl of the mustard Skittles and say, "Enjoy!"
- Watch their elation turn to horror as they spit and cry, realizing the Skittles actually taste awful, like the top side of a hot dog, and they don't even like mustard on their hot dog.
Maybe it won't completely break their candy habit; they'll just switch to chocolate and Sour Patch Kids. But it will teach them a lesson to be careful what they wish for. A free pass for candy won't always be sweet and great, it might be tart and haunting.