6 Reasons Kittens Suck, Ranked
Photo: Kate Stone Matheson/Unsplash

6 Reasons Kittens Suck, Ranked

The cuteness is how they get ya!

6. They’re cute but deadly

These little assholes have no claw control yet. They will go full Wolverine on your legs at every opportunity.

5. The blue eyes

Until they change, kittens have blue eyes, like they're from Arrakis in Dune. You're not Zendaya.

4. The mewling

Kittens don't meow, they kind of high-pitch "MEW! MEW!" which is cute until you're trying to sleep and hear that shit at 3 a.m. from the little cardboard box home you set up for them.

3. You can't walk them

What's the point of having an adorable kitten if you can't walk it around and get hot single ladies to come talk to you for no reason other than to admire your pet at the park?

2. The poop and pee

They don't talk about it at the animal shelter, but even tiny kittens poop and piss a lot and somehow their shits can smell even worse than adult cats. Like, toxic. They don't know the nuances of the litter box yet and the odor is more concentrated.

1. They grow up so fast!

Your frisky, athletic, playful kitten of right now is gonna be your surly, fat, lazy windowsill-laying cat of a few years from now. Enjoy it while it lasts!

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