A mini-guide to trimming the hedges
The results can only be as good as the tools you use. So skip the latest six-blade monstrosity — you’re shaving, not scraping old paint from the ceiling — and cop a disposable razor sporting no more than two blades. A warm shower pregame followed by a quick shave oil rubdown will help prevent you from Freddy Kruegering your various zones.
Take your time
Meditation, white noise — whatever helps slow you the hell down and find your zen, do that. Your face might be used to the blade, but your body isn’t, so treat things a little more gently. Let the razor glide atop the skin at half the intensity of a facial shave.
Go with the flow
Shaving can be a nightmare of ingrown hairs and bumps for Black men with perpetually curly strands. Identify the direction of your growth, and carefully slide the blade the same way.
Be safe, yo!
Nicks suck, but even with samurai-level precision, they’re all but inevitable. Keep an ointment on deck to avoid infection. In the case of pubic bloodletting, put the shave on hold and clean the area before applying Neosporin. Use your best judgment; you may need to abort mission and heal completely before revisiting the region.
Ask for help
Unless you’ve got Mo Bamba’s wingspan, there will be impossible-to-reach areas. And that’s okay. Just ask a trusted, non-disgusted friend to hit the back and booty. That said, shaving may not be your best option in such cases: If you’re feeling it, trek to the nearest waxing center and leave it to the pros. A wax lasts longer, provides peak hydrodynamics, and leaves the skin mahogany-smooth. Karate Kid tested, Miyagi approved.