Photo Illustration: Save As/Medium; Source: DC Comics via HBO Max
Dude is missing half his face, and yet he’s still managed to keep his hairline crispy. As you may know, Black male Republicans are notorious for sporting shape-ups that look like they were trimmed with a spork. Cyborg’s, though, looks like he uses his own lasers to keep his line fresher than a Subway salad.
Barry Allen’s bringing big Bernie Bro vibes: Just a hipster kid hanging out in what’s clearly a Blue State, running around and putting avocados on his toast or something. The GOP potential is very low with this one.
On one hand, Aquaman cares about global warming, and there’s nothing more anti-GOP than being an environmentalist, or even generally caring about the future of planet Earth. Then again, he doesn’t believe in free and fair elections, so there’s that.
3. Wonder Woman
She loves war too damn much to not be some sort of GOP voter. Plus, who could forget this, uh, interesting sequence about her past relationships? Yikes.
This guy’s uniform is literally the colors of the American flag. And sure, he came here from planet Krypton, but we could totally see The Man of Steel giving the old “I made it work on Earth, why can’t you pull yourself up by your bootstraps?” talk.
Let’s see: A billionaire who loves mass incarceration and throwing poor people in jail? A badly dressed rich dude who could change his city by paying his fair share of taxes but instead spends his money on exploring his kink every night? He’s not just a Republican, he’s a damn GOP senator.
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